So [M]any Snacks So Little Time

[EvilCopepod]

((continued from http://archive.visionary-tales.com/so-m-any-snacks-so-little-time-t22848-s315.html))

After eating enough rats to satisfy a pack of strays, Venom finally let Eddie know that it had enough, but it let him continue to explore since he was enjoying himself. "Why don't humans eat these?" It asked, humans didn't have to eat as much as Venom did, so they could easily get enough rats from here to survive.

"A lot of people think it's gross. Especially if they're coming from the sewer." Deadpool tried to pet the rat, but got bit again, "Is he? I thought he was just pissing all over me." Having lost the flashlight, he couldn't see much at all as the only illumination came from the grates above. Because of this, he tripped, and would have fallen into the water again if Venom didn't shoot out a tendril to grab him. There was still a splash as the rat he'd been holding fell out of his hands and the sound of it paddling as fast as it could away from them.

"You lost your rat."

"Yeah, that's a shame. Instead of biting the head off of a still living rat I'll have to settle for a hot dog."

"Disgusting."

"I'm pretty sure that there's some rat in like 90% of hot dogs."

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It took less than half an hour for four of Fisk's thugs to get to him, most of them looked older and with a few years of crime under their belt, save for one that looked like he just started taking driver's ed. One of the older ones gave him a bag which had a change of clothes and a file on Deadpool in it, there wasn't much information except about calculated recovery times, the kinds of weapons he used, and how much it cost to hire him. There was also a distinct note about having no known relatives or relationships that could be used.

"He won't be much help." the man said about the youngest of the group, "But Deadpool don't kill kids, he might be able to buy some extra time if you need it." There was no guarantee about whatever the monster was, but they hadn't exactly been debriefed about what they were going to face if they stuck around with the gunslinger.

[Aries Jordan]

Eddie explored for a bit, pleased to think that he could now get anywhere on the island unobserved, but the sewers rapidly became monotonous.  "Rats carry diseases that can make regular humans very sick.  Or at least the ones that live in the sewer do.  I suppose if we farmed rats and fed them healthy stuff, the meat would be okay."

Deadpool was clearly wanting to return to the surface.  "I'd like to get back to the mission," Eddie said.  "Every day Drake is still alive pisses me off.  We've got plenty enough cash to get to San Francisco now."  Practicing his new skills, he wrapped Deadpool up in a few tendrils, then shot a couple more up to a manhole cover above them, reeling them upward.  "You should get cleaned up, Wade, while we go get ourselves a ride."  Eddie was picturing a Harley.  "Where do you live?  We can pick you up there."

Once they were up under the manhole cover, he put Deadpool on the ladder below him and shoved the cover off.  "Pull in, V, we need to look human now."
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Jude looked each man in the eye as they arrived, sizing them up and memorizing their faces.  Remaining comfortable on the bench, he flipped through the file, looking mainly for a home address and the names of the banks where Wilson had opened new accounts with Bullseye's money.  "What I really need to know is where to find the damn clown."

He frowned at what the thug had to say about the boy.  Jude didn't kill kids either, or put them in harm's way if he could help it.  However, if the kid was working for Fisk, he'd probably be in just as much danger if he didn't go on the mission.  "Got names, have you, gentlemen?"

[EvilCopepod]

"He will be much tastier than a rat." Venom said, even though it was full for the time being, it was still eager to eat the man. The alien was delighted as Eddie continued to use the tendrils to help himself. It had always been pressured into thinking that hosts needed to be controlled, that only their body was needed not their input, and having Eddie share in the autonomy, even take the lead in this case, was a new and thrilling experience. It felt right to the symbiote, more than any of its other relationships with hosts, it felt like it actually belonged.

"Not everyone has an alien suit to keep the gunk off." Wade said when Eddie told him to get cleaned up.

"We didn't jump into the dirty water like an idiot either."

"I fell, I didn't jump. This time." Deadpool protested, "Let me just give you the address to the place that I own legally." He gave them the address as he was carried up to the manhole, he grabbed the rungs so he wouldn't fall. "Nice view." he said as Venom pulled in and he was looking at Eddie's ass. The alien handed him his bag before disappearing completely.

b]Cars not moving. We go now. Let's get our ride, Eddie![/b] Venom was excited by the image in Eddie's mind of the bike.

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"We've got the address. He's squatting at a crime scene. He's been in and out a few times, so he's gotta have stuff in there." Meaning he'd come back for it eventually. He looked confused for a moment when he asked about their names, usually they weren't asked about anything personal, just told what to do.

"I'm John, that's Dick, he's George, and the kid's name is James." He pointed to each of the different men.

"My name's Tim!" the kid interjected, getting a whack on the back of his head.

"You don't tell nobody your real name!"

(( >> I didn't really have any ideas for who these guys could be. Let me know if you have any.

[Aries Jordan]

Eddie didn't care what Drake tasted like.  He was anticipating the evil son of a bitch shitting himself when he saw Venom.  Some of Venom's approval spilled over into his psyche as he pulled them up and made him glow with pride and affection for the symbiote. 

"Not everyone has two left feet either," he said to Wade -- although, to be fair, the merc was a lot more graceful than Eddie, on his own, would be.  He committed Wade's home address to the excellent memory he had developed as a reporter, and shimmied his ass semi-ironically in response to the compliment.  Fleetingly, he wondered what sex with Deadpool would be like without Venom, but supposed he would never get to find out. 

He scrambled up onto the street, and then out of it quickly before the light changed.  "OK, man, I'll pick you up in an hour or two," he called to Wade, and ran to catch the downtown bus he saw getting ready to pull out.
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"I don't care what your names actually are," Jude clarified.  "I just need the right fella to jump when I say so.  Toward that end, let's make your names easier to remember."  He got up and pointed to each of the four in turn.  "John, Paul, George and Ringo," the kid ending up with the drummer's name.  "And I am Jude, as in Hey, Jude, or Jude the Obscure.  If anyone has a problem with me giving the orders, let him say so now."

((I'm sure they'll develop personalities as we go.))

[EvilCopepod]

"I needed to get somewhere fast and I only had a left foot to stick on my right ankle."

You need to put your body parts on the shoe rack next time!

Eddie wants that?[/i] Venom asked about the fleeting thought, not sounding upset, Could be quiet and watch him do whatever he wants to Eddie.[/i]

"'ey! I'm walkin' here!" Wade shouted at a car that nearly hit him because he wasn't as fast as the other to get out of the street. "See you then! And bring food that can't run away!"

Venom dumped a bunch of coins into Eddie's hand for the bus, a few spilling onto the ground while he was running. The bus driver didn't stop for them, but for someone else that had run up to the bus, giving them time to catch up. As soon as they were on the bus and it started moving, Venom used Eddie's hand to unzip one of the pouches on the backpack and shove the extra coins in there. It didn't release control of his hand after that, instead zipping and unzipping the bag repeatedly, which got them many annoyed looks from the other riders that weren't wearing headphones.

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"Fine by me." the most vocal of them replied to the new names, glad he didn't have to deal with any weird code names someone else they'd be working under might give them. Nobody objected to him giving the orders, because Kingpin had given them the orders to do what he said to help complete his mission.

"What are we doing?" The youngest asked, "What's the plan? Who are we fighting? Are we fighting anyone? What's my job?"

(( https://66.media.tumblr.com/960dd540d1d02ce9e1602337f6dd8b89/tumblr_pm0byobZOA1t9mtnt_1280.png

[Aries Jordan]

Eddie blushed when he realized Venom had overheard that thought.  He never wanted to hurt Venom's feelings, but of course it was impossible for him to not feel what he really felt.  The best he could do was not vocalize it, and that was seldom enough to keep it from his symbiotic partner for long.  Probably better to be honest. 

I think it would be good if you observe for a bit before you participate again.  The problem for Eddie, although he didn't know how to articulate it, was that Venom had too much control over his body and not enough understanding of his psyche.  He didn't yet get that a human could be aroused by something and still not want to do it.  Eddie wasn't exactly vanilla in his tastes, but Venom was a little too overwhelming for him still.

 Though I think Deadpool will always want you to participate.  Eddie didn't think he'd ever met anyone as jaded as Wade.  Just, uh, let me drive next time.

He didn't ask Venom to stop zipping and unzipping the backpack pouch, as it wasn't bothering him and he felt that anyone likely to be irritated by something so minor wouldn't last long as a New Yorker anyway.  He could throw a brick in any direction right now and hit somebody doing something more annoying.  In any case, it didn't take them long to reach a downtown used Harley lot, whereupon he cheerfully hopped off the bus.
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"Guess you didn't get a briefing," the gunslinger said dryly.  "We have to capture a demon."  He didn't know for sure it was a demon, but all his previous encounters with horrible black shape-changing monsters had occurred in Hell, so he was going with that as a hypothesis.  "It was hanging around this Wilson earlier, so we want to grab Wilson and question him about it.  Hopefully, it won't be still hanging around Wilson when we catch up with him because I'd hate to lose my first team that fast. 

"Your first job," he said to the kid Ringo, "is to go over to that Office Depot over there," pointing across the street, "and buy us five or six rolls of duct tape, while I step into this men's room and change."

When he came out of the men's room, he was wearing the clothes Fisk's men had brought -- jeans, plain t-shirt, and a black denim jacket.  He kept his own boots, but brought nothing else out of the bathroom with him, except a packet of cigarillos.  His other clothes were simply gone.  Even the guns had disappeared, or at least they were obviously not on him. 

"Did you gentlemen bring transportation?" he inquired, striking a match and applying it to one of his smokes.

[EvilCopepod]

We find pleasure in the taste of Eddie's quickening heartbeat, even if we are not causing it. Venom purred, We will let Eddie take control, he is better at it than we thought. It wasn't upset about being asked to observe, as the activity was new to it as well, and the last thing it wanted to do was to make Eddie not want to do it again.

When he got off the bus, Venom stopped playing with the zipper, its excitement over the bike taking over. It stayed hidden within Eddie, but it looked through him at the many bikes that were available. It had seen the size of the bike Eddie usually rode in his thoughts, but it expected them to be like cars, where there were many sizes, but all of them were in a similar range of size. There were no giant ones like the giant cars that humans had, and it saw in Eddie's mind that they only really got larger when more wheels were added.

They are tiny. Venom commented, Like Eddie. Even though it wouldn't be as fast as them running, it had thought that they as Venom would be able to ride the motorcycle as well.

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Ringo was the only one that didn't look pissed or frightened by the details of the mission, but none of them protested, meaning that possible death by demon was preferable to certain death if they defied the Kingpin.

"Well, you ain't getting another one, so don't fuck it up." Paul said, but he didn't believe that himself, if the Kingpin wanted this thing so bad he wouldn't stop because he lost a few men. When the kid was given the order, he took off running, like he only had time to get the tape while Jude was still changing. He didn't quite make it back before he came out, but he was ran across the street before the light changed when he saw Jude coming out. He didn't have the rolls of tape in a back, but had them stacked on his arms like several oversized bracelets.

"Yeah, but you mind putting that out? It's a rental and we ain't supposed to smoke in it." George walked them over to a plain looking van, he went to get into the driver's seat while the others piled into the back.

[Aries Jordan]

Eddie glowed with love and gratitude toward Venom for being so understanding.  We'll get to a point where you can take charge again, he promised.  When I'm more comfortable and you understand better, we'll have some good times.

Harleys included about the biggest bikes that would be available -- as Venom noted, Eddie didn't know of any that would be bigger.  He commiserated with Venom, especially after seeing the image of them in full Venom-form on a huge chopper in the symbioses' mind.  Aw, that would be so bad-ass!  Sorry, buddy, they're made for humans.  You can still drive it after I show you how if you promise not to crash into anything or hurt anybody.

He chose the biggest bike he could, anyway -- so big that the huge, bearded and tattooed salesman scoffed at him for thinking he could control it.  Eddie just grinned and offered full payment, right now, in cash, with extra if the guy didn't ask for his license, insurance, or real name.
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Jude gave George a disbelieving look.  The man would kill or die on the Kingpin's word, but he wouldn't break a tiny part of a rental car agreement.  "I'll keep the window open," he said, slinging himself into the shotgun seat.  "Just get us there. 

"If it looks like Wilson's alone,  then I want the three of you," meaning the grown men, "to cover the exits without him making you.  Ringo, keep the car running and watch out for cops or any other kind of outside trouble.  I'm gonna try just askin' him nicely first."

[EvilCopepod]

We will have the best times.[/i] The alien said like it was a competition. Will do what Eddie says, not what Eddie thinks.[/i] The man's mind had been the most indecisive during those moments, when it was fogged by lust, and even though his body wanted further pleasure, his mind hadn't exactly been ready for it.

Venom was excited by the idea of driving the machine, Already know how to drive from Eddie, and will not crash.[/i] Even though it hadn't actually driven a motorcycle before, it already thought it was a better driver than the man, as it saw he usually went much slower than the machine could go and only on the designated roads.

The salesman didn't let his opinions be known, especially since Eddie didn't even try to haggle about the overpriced bike, and took the extra as well. He was so pleased by the purchase, that he even gave him a genial grunt and left the lucky rabbit foot on the key for it before hurrying in to get the money put away.

Venom was fascinated by the keychain, prodding at it when the man was out of sight, It is dead. Does Eddie usually eat this?[/I] Since humans liked to eat animals that were already dead. We must get the largest toy there is, then we will go to Deadpool.[/i] There wouldn't be much room on the bike, but Venom would be able to hold on tight to whatever they bought so they could show it off to the mercenary.

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None of the men complained about Ringo being given the safe job, as he wasn't exactly the most experienced at fighting, and he'd do best being the driver if the mercenary really wasn't going to kill him, if their getaway ride was compromised they'd all be screwed.

"How do we know if he's alone? Are you gonna signal us?" Paul asked as they pulled up one street down from the house Deadpool was in, it was two stories and had some police tape on the door, but other than that it looked like an average house, the lawn had even been mowed recently. "Good luck with that." he said about asking the man nicely.

[Aries Jordan]

Sure, buddy, we'll have the besttimes, Eddie agreed, although wondering how Venom would manage to compare the times they were having with the times anybody else was having.  Maybe by the smell of their hormones and endorphins.

Whoa, whoa, whoa, we haven't ridden together yet!  Let me drive in the city at least.  When we get out where there's not much to hit, you can take over, okay?

He was amused by Venom's fascination with the rabbit's foot.  "Oh, no, that's been dead much too long and it's full of toxic chemicals.  It's there for decoration," he said out loud, since they didn't have an audience, and petted the blue-dyed fur to show Venom how the softness was enjoyable.  He straddled the chopper, inserted the key, and kicked off from the curb in a roar of raw power, using the extra strength he got from Venom to control the monster.  "Oh, my God, I love this bike!"

OK, we'll go to a Toys-R-Us next, he agreed. 
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"I'll signal you if he's not alone," the gunslinger said wryly, around the cheroot gripped in his teeth.  "The signal will be a scream and the sound of multiple bones crunching in the jaws of something with six-inch teeth.  Then you can take off and I'll call you when I get back to the land of the living."

He pulled his brows together at the sight of the house.  Police tape aside, it was too nice-looking.  Even small private lawns in New York were rarer than hen's teeth.  "You're sure this is it?"

They were, so he tossed off his jacket, making it even more obvious he wasn't armed, got out of the car and ambled over to the next street.  He made no attempt to go unseen, taking so much time on the way to the door that even a drunk man could have spotted him.  Once there, he gave the front door a couple of laconic raps and listened carefully.

[EvilCopepod]

We will practice using Deadpool. It wasn't nearly as concerned about how Deadpool felt, and not just because of what Eddie said about him being very willing to participate.

Fine, but we get to eat any cops that try and stop us. Venom didn't like that they had their vehicles make harsh sounds when chasing someone that is going too fast. Venom slid out a tendril from Eddie's hand to pet the keychain as well, Want more like this. We will put a whole creature on here.

The noise was loud, but it was low, more like a growl than a painful screech, so the alien wasn't bothered by it at all, it actually enjoyed it. Even if it hadn't liked the sound, it still would have enjoyed it simply because Eddie was getting so excited about it.

We do too! It said loudly in his head. Since it was smaller than the cars, they could move past them faster as well as drive on the place where people walked if they wanted. We are not toys! Venom said about the name of the store. Deadpool is toy, Venom and Eddie are not.[/i]

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Deadpool had taken another shower, as the water hadn't yet been turned off at the now abandoned house, and had put on one a new mask that wasn't shredded or burnt when he walked by the window and saw Jude coming.

Oh shit!

It's that guy! He's alive!

"Next time I need to use his ashes as a litterbox before they vanished."

..What... what would that do?

"Dispel him forever."

Oh yeah! They did that in Harry Potter!

Just make sure that you're prepared this time when he comes.

Not long after he knocked, he opened up the door, now his gun was much more visible as he was pointing it directly at Jude, and once again he was wearing nothing but his mask when he opened the door.

"We have got to keep meeting like this." he said, "Where're your guns?"

[Aries Jordan]

He'll probably enjoy that.  Though Eddie intended to intervene if he didn't.

No, we do not eat any cops, unless they turn out to be bad guys like Bullseye.  He pictured a whole dead bunny attached to a keychain and started laughing.  Then he pictured petting a live bunny and projected warm enjoyment, only to have it ruined by Venom's impulse to eat the poor little thing.

He zipped between cars and even ran a couple of lights.  What the hell, it was New York.  Toys-R-Us refers to the people selling toys, not to you and me.  It's the name they gave themselves.  Say, since you're not doing anything, look them up on my phone, will you?  I don't know where to find one.
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Jude looked considerably more affronted by Wilson's nudity than he was by the piece pointing squarely at his head.  "They're up Ghost Rider's ass.   I just wanna talk.  Would you put some goddamn pants on?  Cry fucken Jesus, I hate the 21st century."

[EvilCopepod]

Will feel even better once we do it to Eddie.

Venom let out a grumble in his mind as he forbade eating any more cops, despite Eddie labeling them as mostly good, it still didn't like them. It enjoyed Eddie's laughter, even though it didn't understand what was so funny about an entire rabbit being attached to the keychain. It was immediately interested in the image of the live bunny.

Delicious![/i] Though Eddie really did seem to enjoy petting things, it had experienced this personally, Feed us first, and we will not try to eat any rabbits that Eddie holds.[/b]

The alien didn't know anything about marketing or trademarking, so it didn't understand why the place wasn't simply called 'toy store'. It messed with Eddie's phone, using his memories of the sign and the letters on it to be able to type in the proper name for it. It told the phone to find one of the stores for them, and nearly dropped the phone when a voice came from the phone.

Eddie! Called someone![/i] The alien couldn't find the hang up button that it had learned to press when getting an unwanted phone call, She is telling us to turn left in 300 feet![/i] Not knowing it was the GPS system, it thought that someone was now tracking them and trying to direct them where to go.

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"He's not going to be riding anything for a while if that's the case." Deadpool opened the door all the way and stepped back so he could come in. "Oh, excuse me, I'll make sure that I cover up my ankles and everything. This is my house, I get to wear whatever the hell I want."

This is not your house. And don't just invite him in!

"If you wanted to talk, why didn't you just send a telegram?" Luckily for Jude, he already had the rest of his costume out so he didn't take long to start putting it back on. "How'd you get here anyway? Horsedrawn carriage or Uber?"

And how'd he get our address?

"This had better be worth my time. You've already insulted me by coming into my home completely unarmed. And I don't know how your healing works, but nobody likes getting their nuts chopped up in a Vitamix. Trust me, there's no way to get used to that kind of pain."

[Aries Jordan]

It's okay, that's just Siri telling us how to get to Toys-R-Us.  It's the same directions you see on the screen, they're just being spoken by a computer program.  Eddie took the left and increased speed.

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Jude kept a straight face so hard that his narrow blue eyes were laughing as Deadpool got dressed because of the number of opportunities the merc was providing in which Jude could have killed him.

Meanwhile, he'd gotten a good look at the house, noticing all the signs of wholesome American family living --  nice furniture, decent decor, toys, sports equipment, sewing machine -- that lay under the more recent signs of Deadpool's habitation -- guns, ammo, Guns and Ammo, snack food wrappers, pizza boxes, etc.  "This isn't your house," he said.  "You're squatting.

"I don't heal," he said.  "Except like most people do.  And I die like most people die.  I just come back after.  I never met one like you," he went on, eyeing Deadpool's muscular form with interest.  Jude was lean and spare and hard, tall for when he was born, but nowhere near Wilson's heroic proportions.  "How did you get like that?  Did you make a deal?  Or are you one 'a these new people, mutants, like born like that?"  He sounded as if he were purely curious, even a little fascinated.

[EvilCopepod]

Venom eyed the screen suspiciously again, but all Siri said were further instructions, so it repeated them inside of Eddie's head as soon as she said them. Between instructions on turns, it asked Eddie about different things it saw on the street, about why people were walking close to each other or why they were avoiding eye contact with one another, and why they were all moving so slow.

When they entered the parking lot, Venom repeated: We have reached our destination. It looked around at the activity, There are babies everywhere.[/i] it said in response to the surplus of children, not yet realizing that the majority of toy sales were targeting kids.

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"Okay, it's a rental. Just because I don't pay for it or didn't have anyone say it's fine that I stay here does not mean I'm a squatter." He was rarely careful about keeping himself guarded, and if a firefight was to break out, he was pretty sure he could grab more guns and ammo than Jude could.

Not if he gets the drop on you like before, dumbass.

"I'd have thought you knew Logan if you're as old as you were dressed before. Holy shit, you're from West World!"

... He's not even a robot.

"Or are you a phoenix? That makes sense, you use fire, you turn to ash when you die-- do you know a Jean Grey?" He holstered several different kinds of weapons, but kept a pistol in his hand. "It's a little of both, actually. I made a deal and got mutant powers from it along with IBS that is triggered by everything except gluten." He narrowed his eyes. "Why are you really here? It can't just be to talk about me. But it can be, and I'd like that because I love talking about myself."